WHY KNOT: Breaking the Silence on Monogamy

  As I was tinkering around the website and Facebook, trying to figure what I would post for my seminal (heh) entry as the new guy around here, I was reached out to by Dr. Daamini Shrivastav, a producer for a film that I have really taken interest in. WHY KNOT explores non-monogamy from both scientific and personal views; right up our alley our Poly Pipeline. The project explores perspectives in support of traditional monogamy as well as non-monogamy, interviewing everyone from the Read more [...]

Dear Poly Dude: I’m Facing a “Newbie” Double Standard

Dear Poly Chick/Poly Dude is a collection of anonymous queries that have been submitted by people through the , our Facebook page or Email. The answers provided are our opinions, formed through years of being immersed in polyamory. Take our advice with a grain of salt (or pepper). We have no boundaries, so ask us anything! If you want a Chick-specific or Dude-specific answer, let us know; otherwise, we’ll surprise you!   Dear Poly Dude, I've noticed a double standard in polyamory: Read more [...]

The (Proverbial) Label Maker: How Labels Help Shape Communities

The (Proverbial) Label Maker: How Labels Help Shape Communities
In polyamory there are all kinds of labels floating around. Much like a graceful flying squirrel, most of the labels are cute and harmless but once in a while I will hear someone disagreeing with this word or that. There seems to be a delicate plea for political correctness in the community; I gather most of that is probably due to the “alternative” or minority nature of polyamory, thus leaving it vulnerable to misconceptions.   We see everything from poly and polyamory, to polyfidelity, Read more [...]

Dear Poly Chick: Polyamory and BDSM

Dear Poly Chick/Poly Dude is a collection of anonymous queries that have been submitted by people through the , our Facebook page or Email. The answers provided are our opinions, formed through years of being immersed in polyamory. Take our advice with a grain of salt (or pepper). We have no boundaries, so ask us anything! If you want a Chick-specific or Dude-specific answer, let us know; otherwise, we’ll surprise you!   Dear Poly Chick, Why are so many polyamorous people into BDSM? Read more [...]

The Age Equation: A Mathematical Model for Preferred Age Discrepancy

The Age Equation: A Mathematical Model for Preferred Age Discrepancy
I look pretty young for my age. Most people guess my age to be between 3 and 7 years younger than I actually am (depending on makeup, clothing, whether my hair is styled in pigtails or the brand of vulgarity that is spewing from my mouth). I love to take advantage when I can by making inappropriate age jokes around people I’m dating, for my own personal amusement (and sometimes theirs). One of my previous partners’ colleagues actually once said to him “oh how cute, is she your niece”? You Read more [...]

Trust: It Does a Body Good (and Relationships Too)

Trust: It Does a Body Good (and Relationships Too)
She stands rigidly facing straight ahead, arms slightly bent but tense with anticipation, eyes with the focus of a convict waiting at the gallows. Her heart feels like it's about to leap from her chest in a gory display that Dr. House would undoubtedly call "cool", while a single bead of sweat rolls down her cheek. The chants coming from behind her seem far away, like the fleeting emotion she is supposed to be relying on for this. "It looked so easy!" she thinks, as she recalls her friend who went Read more [...]

Dear Poly Chick: Where’s the Polyamory Research?

Dear Poly Chick/Poly Dude is a collection of anonymous queries that have been submitted by people through the , our Facebook page or Email. The answers provided are our opinions, formed through years of being immersed in polyamory. Take our advice with a grain of salt (or pepper). We have no boundaries, so ask us anything! If you want a Chick-specific or Dude-specific answer, let us know; otherwise, we’ll surprise you!   Dear Poly Chick, Why isn’t there more research on polyamory?   This Read more [...]

Rejection =/= Reject: Guidelines for Giving and Receiving Rejection

I often hear musings on the nature of rejection in polyamory. With more opportunities for relationships come more opportunities for rejection, right? Not necessarily; but there does seem to be a decent amount of rejection, and sometimes a misunderstood perception of what that means.   First, let’s neutralize the word “rejection”. Some people equate this with “reject”, in the derogatory sense. As if being rejected somehow makes you a loser or undesirable. This simply is not Read more [...]

Dear Poly Dude: My Metamour is a Douche

Dear Poly Chick/Poly Dude is a collection of anonymous queries that have been submitted by people through the , our Facebook page or Email. The answers provided are our opinions, formed through years of being immersed in polyamory. Take our advice with a grain of salt (or pepper). We have no boundaries, so ask us anything! If you want a Chick-specific or Dude-specific answer, let us know; otherwise, we’ll surprise you!   Dear Poly Dude, I think my girlfriend’s other partner is Read more [...]

When to Talk Poly: A Case for Self-Disclosure

When to Talk Poly: A Case for Self-Disclosure
Come close, there’s something I want to tell you…   When it comes to being polyamorous, many of us have difficulty deciding if and when we want to tell others. I’ve met people who prefer to keep their polyamorous status a secret; I’ve met others who are open and even flagrant about it. Some of us don’t really have much choice; if you work in a conservative industry or come from a religious background it might be wise to tread cautiously or not at all. I often liken it to coming Read more [...]

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